Grass Valley, CA — In an attempt to stay relevant, an unidentified member of the Kardashian family invaded the room of a dying patient dressed as a demon at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital earlier this week.
In an exclusive and somewhat terrifying photo obtained by Gish Gallop, one can see what appears to be a demonic figure jumping onto the bed of a dying patient. However after an exhaustive analysis, Gish Gallop forensic team has revealed that the image is none other than a member of the Kardashian clan.
“We had our crack team examine the photo,” said Randall “Fink” Finkelstein of Gish Gallop, “and at first, like most people, we were shocked at the footage. However Webmaster Tim has a degree in Police Investigative Science and put it to good work. He pointed out that the ass in this picture is clearly a Kardashian one, and one of the family members donned a costume in attempts at, in his words, ‘to up the media whore level and gather attention to their decaying brand.'”
Media critics were confused by the brazen attempt to gather attention, especially in such a small rural town. However Professor James Badwater of the University of Chicago had this to say.
“We have an entire generation of young people who are not watching television anymore,” said Professor Badwater in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “Television is for the aging boomers. It’s a similar problem for Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton who can’t seem to break away and embrace new media. Funny, I would have expected Hillary to pull such a stunt. Anyhow, I suppose it makes sense for the Kardashians as well. Kim’s been having a hell of a time drawing attention to herself as of late.”
The Internet lit-up with conspiracy theorists claiming that the “beast” was in fact a real demon and not a Kardashian.
“Demons are real,” said Trey Collins of Penn Valley. “They’re everywhere looking to have dominion over our souls. They attack the weak and feeble. I can’t believe some people think this is a Kardashian when all God-fearing people know there’s an invisible spiritual war going on.”
The image, which was captured via closed-circuit television and supplied to Gish Gallop by an anonymous Hospital staff member, has not been acknowledged by the Sierra Nevada Memorial administration.