DJ Sam "DJ Sammy" Jackson likes to win Internet arguments by passive-aggressively threatening his co-workers.
DJ Sam “DJ Sammy” Jackson likes to win Internet arguments by passive-aggressively threatening his co-workers.

Nevada City, CA — Area technology worker and amateur wedding DJ Sam “DJ Sammy” Jackson said that he enjoyed reminding people on Facebook that they should be working instead of arguing and goofing off. The local DJ, who makes his living as an Information Technology worker, said on Monday that taddle-telling to the bosses of frequent Facebookers regarding their activity is a fair argument tactic.

“Sometimes when I get into an argument on Facebook,” said Mr. Jackson in a Gish Gallop interview, “and I’m losing the argument or looking like a foolish asshole, I like to remind my foes that ‘their bosses would like to know what they’re doing on Facebook.’ That works almost every time, except during off hours.”

According to some Facebookers, they’ve had their bosses contact them shortly after one of Mr. Jackson’s “reminders” during a Facebook argument.

“You gotta wonder what kind of person fights like that,” questioned co-worker and Mr. Jackson foe Lee Corneys of Grass Valley. “I mean, what kind of jerk fights like that? Oh, I know, someone who can’t form an argument and is a motherless asshole.”

According to his co-workers, Mr. Jackson’s passive-aggressive threats are not limited to Facebook arguments.

“Yeah, that guy is an asshole,” said Morris Crawford of Nevada City. “At the staff meeting last week, we got into an argument about server imaging for the upcoming release. Well, he didn’t like my idea so he started implying that ‘I wouldn’t get so excited about that Morris with all those YouTube miles you’ve racked up on your workstation.’ What a dick.  And he said that right in front of the team. I don’t even watch that crap.”

According to Mr. Jackson, this is all about doing what’s right for the company and ultimately the customers.

“Look, everyone slacks off,” continued a cocky Mr. Jackson. “Well, everyone but me. So I figure I get to be the voice of reason and determine what’s fair. It’s not that complicated. And I get to be right all the time.”

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