Columbus, OH — Ohio State Attorney General, Mike DeWine has uncovered a major conspiracy and land grab that leads straight to the front door of the Clinton Foundation.
In a press conference this morning outside his Columbus offices, Mr. DeWine announced that he will be spearheading a massive investigation, assisted by Utah State Attorney General, Sean Reyes and Arizona State Attorney General, Mark Brnovich, into what appears to be an enormous and incredibly illegal land grab effort on behalf of the Clinton Foundation.
“So far, we have traced these shady deals into 27 states,” Mr. DeWine began. “We have notified every AG in every state to be on the look-out for these land grab deals and the companies that are perpetrating them. At this point, we have determined that there are at least 40 shell companies, all of whom are indirectly parented by the Clinton Foundation, tied into the land grab. We are confident that every state in the Union has been affected by this conspiracy.”
When pressed on the reasoning behind the land grab conspiracy, Mr. DeWine stated, “We are not yet clear about why this is happening. Federal and state investigators are currently interviewing many of the principles involved. If I had to hazard a guess, I would believe that some of the land involved would be attained for strategic purposes other properties could, if foreclosed upon, cause severe moral decay amongst the citizenry while other properties are just very nice areas. Then again, they could be possible safe haven for the multitudes of Middle Eastern refugees that will soon be flooding our country.”
Mr. DeWine stated in the press conference that he would be contacting the USAG, Loretta Lynch today in an attempt to get an interview with the Clintons. The crowd roared when he chuckled, “I won’t hold my breath.”