San Jose, CA — A shocking new development has emerged: the former Secretary of State’s controversial private email server has shown up for sale on the popular auction site eBay. The server, a Dell PowerEdge T110, was listed earlier this week but promptly removed after eBay management discovered it. A spokesperson for eBay said the removal had nothing to do with large donations the large auction firm had made to the Clinton Foundation in 2015.
“This, of course, is a matter of national security,” said eBay Director of Communications Bethany Millbright. “And our decision to remove the listing had nothing to with the $315,000 fee Ms. Clinton received for her speech on income inequality. Once the listing came to our attention, we removed it. We have no further comment.”
The server, which was listed last week by eBay user “rcpgogglin” of Muncie, Indiana, was listed for $410 as being in “OK condition, but shows signs of wear. Tested and working.” 35 people were watching the item, however there were no bids on the server.
“I got the server 2 months ago,” said rcpgogglin in a communication via the eBay messaging system.”Some guy in New York was selling it for dirt cheap. Like $200.00. Anyhow, that’s what I do, I flip things on eBay. So when it arrived, the hard drives weren’t wiped or anything. So I did all that, but it was in pretty bad shape. Anyhow after eBay pulled the listing, these Fed guys show up and ran-sacked my garage. They didn’t have a warrant or anything. They took all my inventory and drove off.”
The Clinton campaign declined to comment on both the eBay speech and how the email server appeared on eBay. They repeat previous statements regarding this escalating issue.
“Everything Secretary Clinton did was permitted. There was no law,” said Hillary Clinton media advisor Jim Margolis. “There was no regulation. There was nothing that did not give her the full authority to decide how she was going to communicate. Previous secretaries of state have said they did the same thing. Everything Ms. Clinton did was permitted by law and regulation. This is clearly a part of the vast Right Wing Conspiracy and other forces to take the Secretary down and guarantee a Trump Presidency.”
The whereabouts of the Dell T110 email server are unknown at the time of this writing.