May, 2022

Commentary

Animal Rights Group Protests Against Word ‘Pussy’

CLOA has started an online protest of news media sites and social media to take back the word pussy.

Most Americans Still OK with the 71,000 Afghans We Bombed to Death

Mr. Bufton doesn't think about the casualties in the Afghan theater. All he knows is that he's keeping America safe.

Opinion: Why You Don’t Read Anymore

If you did read this, I’m sorry. There’s no going back, now.

Dilbert Seeks Restraining Order Against Creator Scott Adams

In a highly unusual move for a fictitious character, Dilbert requested a restraining order against his creator Scott Adams.
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Popular

New Study Finds Vegans Less Annoying Than Anti-Vegans

In a landmark study released today by the Pew Research Center in cooperation with the National Cattlemen's Beef Association, scientists have determined that proponents of the anti-vegan movement are several orders of magnitude more obnoxious than vegans.

High School Bullies Who Seized Liberty University Unsure of What to Do Next

A local gang of high school bullies has taken over the Christian-only Liberty University in an attempt to "make education great again."

Cell Phone Tower Doubles in Size Following Record Rains

The controversial cell phone tower with was erected in Grass Valley's Brunswick Basin has grown by over 70 feet following a record-setting year for rainfall.

Area Lottery Winner Plans to Travel and Masturbate Frequently

Recent multi-million dollar California Lottery winner Derrick Lopez of Fresno, CA told his friends on Facebook that he wants to fulfill his dreams of traveling the world following his huge windfall.

Cthulhu Joins Amway

In what is being discussed as a deathblow to Earth and its inhabitants, Cthulhu (pronounced Khlûl′-hloo), the gigantic, wholly evil entity worshiped by cultists who conducts human sacrifices, has joined Amway. This announcement sent shocks through the MLM world, as well as terrifying humanity.