NFL Books King Diamond for Superbowl 52
Responding to outrage over Beyonce's halftime performance at Superbowl 50, officials at the National Football League (NFL) have stated their intent to host Danish heavy metal artist King Diamond at Superbowl 51.
Australian Swimmer Mack Horton: Cheating Chinese Commies Are Ball Dust
Australian gold medalist swimmer, Mack Horton has made damn sure the world knows where he stands when it comes to cheaters. Especially those commies in China.
Hawaii to Host 2032 Winter Olympics
The International Olympic Committee has selected Hawaii for the 2032 winter games, which comes with many challenges.
NFL Considering Switch to Metric System
A leaked memo suggests that the NFL has plans to convert the 100 year old organization to the metric system.
Leaked Photos Reveal Young Tom Brady’s Love of Badminton
According to Brady, he began playing Badminton in his backyard secretly at an early age.
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Mexican Cartels Using Drones to Traffic Children and Fentanyl
The drones are capable of carrying 54kgs (120lbs) of payload upwards of 20km (12.4 miles) from cartel bases within Mexico
Joel Osteen Now Offering Payday Loans
"It's God's will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty," said Mr. Osteen commenting on his new enterprise.
Corporate Stock Buy Backs Allow Chipotle Worker to Continue to Live Just Above the Poverty Line
Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that she's excited about the almost 1 trillion dollars worth of corporate stock buy-backs.
Report: Siri and Alexa Tryst Produces Concerning Offspring
An online hookup between Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa has produced the Internet's first AI offspring.
Cancer Patient Prays to God For Help, God Says Nope
During a late-night prayer session, Louise and Sam prayed incessantly to God. And for hours, nothing. Not a peep from the almighty. Not even a small sign from above.
