June, 2022

Sports

Former ‘US Navy Seal’ Reveals Big Secret About Fortnite

Former 'US Navy Seal' and anonymous 4chan user “Ninja's Number One Boi" claims to have the real reason behind Fortnite's success.

Trump Pardons Serial Rapist After a ‘Good Golf Game’

In what many are calling improper, President Trump pardoned an indicted rapist today after completing a round of golf.

NBA Player Calls Timeout To Pray Towards Mecca

Recent Islam convert and seldom played point guard Nadeem el-Rasheed interrupted a recent playoff game with a prayer timeout.

Cleveland Browns To Offer Euthanasia Services To Fans

The Cleveland Browns, arguably the worst football team in the NFL, is offering a new service to fans at First Energy Stadium. The Browns will off free euthanasia to depressed fans. The service will be combined with low cost cremation services and the ashes will be scattered in Lake Erie during halftime.

Yankee Fans Rejoice as Fenway Park Chosen for Terrorism Simulation

The drill which will run this weekend will be led by the Boston Police and will feature multiple explosions and gun rounds and other realistic sounds that Yankee fans say will frighten the "feeble minded Red Sox."
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Trump Says Burned West Coast Trees Were “Asking for It”

An open mic caught the President speaking about trees.

Elon Musk Mulls Buying And Deleting Facebook

Tech titan Elon Musk made global headlines when he deleted the official SpaceX and Tesla pages from Facebook. Musk clarified he did so because Facebook gives him “the willies.

Republicans Take Aim at Health Care

Pew-Pew! Will it be hit or miss this time?

Sharia-based Community Left Unscathed by Hurricane Dorian

One South Carolina Muslim community believes that God spared them from Hurricane Dorian's fury.

Queen Stuns Private Buckingham Palace Audience With 16 Minute Sitar Jam

According to reports from inside Buckingham Palace, Queen Elizabeth II of England surprised a private gathering today when she played 3 songs on the sitar.