November, 2021

Regional News

Area Man Makes Wrong Turn

A Rio Linda man made a wrong turn over the weekend and his Chevrolet pickup ended up on his neighbors home, according to the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department.

New Sacramento Sports Complex to be Named “Sleep Apnea Arena”

After a competitive battle between the top mattress seller on the West Coast, Sleep Train, and the American Sleep Apnea Association (ASAA), the ASAA has won naming rights to the new Natomas Sacramento Sports complex.

State of Jefferson Announces Innovative Fundraising Plan

Proponents of the proposed State of Jefferson have been criticized recently for their failure to provide information on how the creation and operation of their new state will be funded.

North San Juan Resident Can’t Handle the Hectic Pace of Grass Valley

North San Juan resident Shep “The Ship” Walkins says he can't handle the hectic Grass Valley rat race. Walkins has been living up on "The Ridge" for over 32 years and considers himself a local boy.

State of Jefferson Website Honored with 2015 Layout of the Year Award

The Jurisdiction of the Jefferson State Militia website, located at www.jeffersonstatemilitia.com, was nominated last year for its innovative design and faced stiff competition from the likes of popular conservative news-aggregator DrudgeReport.com and relative new comer 'Sup Bowie, a David Bowie fan page, which came in number 2 and 3 respectively.
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Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.