June, 2022

Regional News

State of Jefferson Announces Innovative Fundraising Plan

Proponents of the proposed State of Jefferson have been criticized recently for their failure to provide information on how the creation and operation of their new state will be funded.

North San Juan Resident Can’t Handle the Hectic Pace of Grass Valley

North San Juan resident Shep “The Ship” Walkins says he can't handle the hectic Grass Valley rat race. Walkins has been living up on "The Ridge" for over 32 years and considers himself a local boy.
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Local Schizophrenic Lawyer Sues Self for Fall

Nevada County is about to make legal history as Fernwood Z. Frischland, Esq., filed a civil suit against himself for a nasty fall he suffered in front of his home at 24444 Old Tunnel Road.

Protesters Tear Down Georgia Guidestones

The controversial apocalyptic Georgia monument proclaiming end-of-the-world scenarios was toppled this past week by a group of leftwing activists.

Woman Legally Incorporates Uterus to Avoid Government Regulation

Taking a page from the Republican Party's handbook, Mary Penland of Fresno, CA has incorporated her Uterus in an attempt to gain the many regulatory exemptions many corporations enjoy.

Bernie Sanders: I Will Make America Metric

Bernie Sanders announced to a crowd of over 14,000 people at a campaign stop at NYU in New York City that when he is elected President, his first executive action will include a plan to convert America's ancient imperial measures and units to the metric system.

Obama Offers to Trade SCOTUS Pick for Second Amendment

President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) has reportedly sent word to Senate Majority Mitch McConnell (R-KY) that he is willing to negotiate a deal in which the president would willingly sacrifice his Supreme Court nomination in exchange for the Second Amendment.