January, 2022

Regional News

State Mandate: Unvaccinated Children Required To Wear Armbands

The California State Department of Health and Human Services is piloting a new and some would say controversial program to require unvaccinated children to wear a special yellow armbands.

Sacramento to Disclose Addresses of Registered Anti-Vaxxers

In an announcement designed to proactively combat a potential pandemic, officials in Sacramento County declared that it plans to publish the names and addresses of "vaccine protesters."

George Jefferson Annoyed By Proposed New State

Harlem-born, African-American entrepreneurial success story George Jefferson is not pleased with the 51st State of Jefferson being proposed in Northern California and Southern Oregon.

Activist Proposes Breaking California into 37,253,956 Individual States

Local activists, in an attempt to quench Sacramento's unending desire to control water policy in the Sierra Foothills and beyond have announced that they are starting an initiative process to break California into 37,253,956 separate, sovereign States.

Area Man Makes Wrong Turn

A Rio Linda man made a wrong turn over the weekend and his Chevrolet pickup ended up on his neighbors home, according to the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department.
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Damnation Army Seeks Important Satanist Thrift Shopping Demographic

According to a prospectus provided by the Church, their Citrus Heights flagship store has grown by over 400%.

Subaru Announces 2023 Limited Edition Bernie Sanders Outback

Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans on releasing a limited run of what is tentatively called the Bernie Sanders Outback LE or Limited Edition.

State of Jefferson Website Honored with Layout of the Year Award

The Jurisdiction of the Jefferson State Militia website was nominated last year for its innovative design and faced stiff competition.

Inflation Concerns Drive Motel 6 to Rename to Motel 7

The 56-year-old budget hospitality and lodging chain Motel 6 announced this week that it is going to rename itself given extraordinary inflation and economic pressures.

Mormon Graffiti Saved Man in Idaho Truck Stop

The Mormon church has been around since the mid-1800's by Joseph Smith under questionable pretenses. It has since grown to 14 million members around the world. The Mormons use all manner of recruiting tools to save souls.