January, 2022

News

Many Americans Still Unclear Where Honduras Is

A recent survey conducted by the non-partisan Rundex Family Foundation discovered that the overwhelming majority of Americans have no idea where Honduras is.

Hellraiser Holiday Starbucks Cup Sends Area Woman to Hell

31-year-old Dawn Qualls found herself in the torturous and fiery pits of Hell over the weekend after ordering a Starbucks limited edition Holiday Hellraiser Carmel Machiatto.

Amendment to California SB277 to Inject Patriotism into Anti-Vaxxers

Following what appears to be an implosion of the repeal California SB277 movement, two California State Senators plan on introducing legislation to add additional provisions to the controversial "personal belief exemption."

Armored Taco Truck Opens Fire on Citizen Border Patrol: 1 Dead

A shootout between a heavily armed group of citizen border protectors and an armored taco truck left one man dead and several others wounded, according to reports.

‘Massive’ Trump Statue Erected in North Korea

Former President Trump admires North Korea's flattery.
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Popular

Damnation Army Seeks Important Satanist Thrift Shopping Demographic

According to a prospectus provided by the Church, their Citrus Heights flagship store has grown by over 400%.

Subaru Announces 2023 Limited Edition Bernie Sanders Outback

Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans on releasing a limited run of what is tentatively called the Bernie Sanders Outback LE or Limited Edition.

State of Jefferson Website Honored with Layout of the Year Award

The Jurisdiction of the Jefferson State Militia website was nominated last year for its innovative design and faced stiff competition.

Inflation Concerns Drive Motel 6 to Rename to Motel 7

The 56-year-old budget hospitality and lodging chain Motel 6 announced this week that it is going to rename itself given extraordinary inflation and economic pressures.

Mormon Graffiti Saved Man in Idaho Truck Stop

The Mormon church has been around since the mid-1800's by Joseph Smith under questionable pretenses. It has since grown to 14 million members around the world. The Mormons use all manner of recruiting tools to save souls.