December, 2021

News

Local Black Man Banned From Nevada County Store For Being “GMO”

Local African-American Michael Noble was shocked today when he entered a local Organic supermarket for spices and poppy seeds, only to have the manager and an off-duty Nevada County Sheriff force him out of the store for being a "GMO".

Follow-Up: Area Weatherman Selling Meats on the Ridge

There appears to be a door-to-door meat selling bonanza happening in Nevada County. Area patent troll and weather genius Giovanni Paolo recently admitted to Gish Gallop that he sells a series of quality Omaha steaks to the residents of North San Juan and Camptonville. Along with his high quality meats, he sells a variety of "exotic" local animal proteins as well.

Area Waitress Attempts to Serve Passive-Aggressive Customers

Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.

ISIS Attacks Bolster GOP’s Agenda

Proving that global politics produces strange bedfellows, many Republican loudmouths are glomming onto the recent terrorist attacks in Paris as evidence that “other” people should not be welcome within “our” borders. And subtlety is not their specialty.

Team America: World Police Depart For Paris

In light of the recent terrorist attack in Paris, France, and the possibility more might come, The United States' premiere fighting force, Team America: World Police departed for France early Thursday morning.
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Anonymous Hackers Destroy Bitcoin

Anonymous hackers hacked into multiple databases related to the mining of BTC, individual users' wallets, and other various networks working with BTC exchange as a whole.

Start-Up Facing Backlash over Patented Spider Air Filters

Texas start-up Breathe-Clean has come under fire for it's SpiderEasy of hypoallergenic air-filters which feature live genetically modified arachnids who, in the words of company spokes person Bethany Millbright "eat the particles that humans can't see."

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.