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October, 2021

News

Low IQ Man Can’t Handle The Hectic Pace of California

A California man can't hack the challenges of living in the golden state anymore.

6G Frightens Even Wireless Companies

Leaked memos reveal that wireless providers are concerned about the upcoming 6G technology.

USA Paralympic Team Refuses to Stand During Star Spangled Banner!

A controversy erupted over the weekend when the United States Paralympics Team refused to stand for the National Anthem during their annual fall tryouts.

Lake Berryessa Glory Hole Swallows Elderly Gambling Bus

A group of elderly gamblers had a little more excitement than they bargained for.

Bernie Sanders to Play Noam Chomsky in Upcoming Biopic

According to sources close to Bernie Sanders, the Senator of Vermont has agreed to portray MIT Linguist and Social Scientist Noam Chomsky in an upcoming biopic.
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Babylon Bee Announces Anti-Masturbation App

Christians have new hope for a current "hand-demic."

Online Ads for Giant Black Clocks Target Area Woman

Elaine Odell of Beaverton, OR wonders if she inadvertently answered the wrong question.

Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Idiot Exclaims: “I’m oppressed! Just watch them arrest me for storming the Oval Office.”

He was overheard shouting "Let's go Brandon" moments before being tackled by Secret Service personnel.

Supreme Court Justice Warren Buffett Found Dead

Longtime Supreme Court Justice Warren Buffett has died in his sleep according to the Omaha, Nebraska police department. His death, which comes after the suspicious passing of Justice Antonin Scalia's untimely death, further puts pressure on both President Biden and the Senate to appoint a successor.