August, 2022

News in Brief

Local Schizophrenic Lawyer Sues Self for Fall

Nevada County is about to make legal history as Fernwood Z. Frischland, Esq., filed a civil suit against himself for a nasty fall he suffered in front of his home at 24444 Old Tunnel Road.

Driver Considerate and Polite on Highway 49

North San Juan, CA -- In a rare occurrence, area driver...

Local Success Guru Launches “How to be More Productive” Program on Facebook

Local success and productivity guru Mitch Freed of MitchFreedSuccess.com announced on a local Facebook group that he was holding a fee-based "How To Get Your Shit Together and Be More Productive" seminar at the Miners Foundry in Nevada City.

Brief: Wild Mushroom Not Eaten

Nevada City, CA -- After much debate on a local Facebook...

President Trump Pardons Bill Cosby, Despite Warnings from Aides

In a startling announcement via executive order, President Trump has pardoned Bill Cosby from any wrongdoing after being charged with the sexual assault of a Temple University employee in 2004.
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Mexican Cartels Using Drones to Traffic Children and Fentanyl

The drones are capable of carrying 54kgs (120lbs) of payload upwards of 20km (12.4 miles) from cartel bases within Mexico

Joel Osteen Now Offering Payday Loans

"It's God's will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty," said Mr. Osteen commenting on his new enterprise.

Corporate Stock Buy Backs Allow Chipotle Worker to Continue to Live Just Above the Poverty Line

Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that she's excited about the almost 1 trillion dollars worth of corporate stock buy-backs.

Report: Siri and Alexa Tryst Produces Concerning Offspring

An online hookup between Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa has produced the Internet's first AI offspring.

Cancer Patient Prays to God For Help, God Says Nope

During a late-night prayer session, Louise and Sam prayed incessantly to God. And for hours, nothing. Not a peep from the almighty. Not even a small sign from above.