Category: National News

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Christian Scientist Claims Being Christian is Genetic; Being Gay is a Choice.

A Liberty University 'scientist' who used 'God's guidance,' has determined that being Christian is genetic.

Dove Releases Soap Dispenser Products For “Washing Your Asshole”

The United Kingdom-base Dove announced today a new line of soap dispenser products specifically designed to clean your butt hole. The new product, called Dove Real Clean, is targeted at the growing "anus grooming" market.

ISIS Spokesman: Terror Group ‘Really Grateful’ NRA Has Made Getting Guns So Easy

An unidentified Daesh fighter released a video on YouTube over the weekend praising The National Rifle Association for "making it super-duper easy-peasy to get firearms in America."

New Study: Chemtrails Are Great For Your Complexion

At Sierra Community College in Grass Valley, CA, science student Sandra Willis has made an ironic discovery about the utility of chemtrails: they are great for your complexion. Unfortunately, Sandra Willis' discovery might sway naysayers into the pro-chemtrail camp.

Trump Snorts Cocaine Through Thousand Dollar Bills

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has come under questioning on twitter for repeated, noticeable sniffing during the first presidential debate after his opponent Hillary Clinton reported that, prior to the presidential debate, Mr. Trump was snorting cocaine in the prep room through a hundred dollar bill.

Size Matters: Hillary Clinton Discusses Trump’s Member

Hillary Clinton made reference to Donald Trump's member today at a larger-than-average rally in Costa Mesa, CA this afternoon.

DNA Test Reveals Trump Is A Descendant Of King Henry VIII

The cable news network CNN is reporting that President Trump is directly related to King Henry the VIII of England. The President received news today during his marathon morning television routine. According to those close to Mr. Trump, he had always assumed he was of Aryan heritage.

Hank Williams Jr. Endorses Hillary Clinton

Hank Williams, Jr. has withdrawn his support for Republican candidate Donald Trump, and endorsed Democrat nominee Hillary Clinton. The move shocks Williams fans all over the nation.
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