May, 2022

National News

ISIS Attacks Bolster GOP’s Agenda

Proving that global politics produces strange bedfellows, many Republican loudmouths are glomming onto the recent terrorist attacks in Paris as evidence that “other” people should not be welcome within “our” borders. And subtlety is not their specialty.

Team America: World Police Depart For Paris

In light of the recent terrorist attack in Paris, France, and the possibility more might come, The United States' premiere fighting force, Team America: World Police departed for France early Thursday morning.

Police Fraternity Planning a Surprise Party for Quentin Tarantino

Following comments made by American film director and actor Quentin Tarantino at a New York City protest, the Fraternal Order of Police Officers announced last week that it was planning a "surprise party" for him as a way of thanking him for his recent "support" of police officers.

Brian Williams: I Was At Ben Carson’s 1997 Stabbing

Brian Williams admitted to a small press conference that he was at the 1997 stabbing event of Presidential hopeful Ben Carson. The stabbing event, which apparently occurred in Mr. Williams' mind, happened when the soft-spoken neurosurgeon was at a Christian event speaking about Old Testament history.

Ben Carson: Obamacare Stealing Your Identity and Cloning Your Poo

As I was investigating this debauchery, it occurred to me, my poo is already smarter than a Democrat. Can you imagine how dim a Democrat’s poo is? Worse, can you imagine how obtuse a Democrat poo clone would be?
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Popular

Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.