December, 2021

Local News

Chemtrail Believer Bullied by “Math Thugs”

Mary McAlister seemed surprised that others took issue with her incendiary share of a billboard picture that warned people of the dangers of geoengineering.

Yuba River Male Gender, Not Female Study Finds

According to researchers at the influential Rundex Family Foundation in Palo Alto, CA, the three forks Yuba River should be referred to using male adjectives.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffered the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Downtown Cell Towers to Power New Popeyes Fried Chicken

After the committee announced that it would allow Verizon contractor Epic Wireless to install as many eight mini cell towers on top of the Friar Tuck's building, new Popeyes owner Nathan Armstrong said the increased Electromagnetic Field (EMF) radiation would help cut his energy costs.

Locals Patch Street Potholes with Pot

Nevada City residents have grown tired of waiting for the city to repair the roadway and recently decided to take matters into their own hands. They did this by planting a series of marijuana plants in the aging street's numerous potholes.
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Anonymous Hackers Destroy Bitcoin

Anonymous hackers hacked into multiple databases related to the mining of BTC, individual users' wallets, and other various networks working with BTC exchange as a whole.

Start-Up Facing Backlash over Patented Spider Air Filters

Texas start-up Breathe-Clean has come under fire for it's SpiderEasy of hypoallergenic air-filters which feature live genetically modified arachnids who, in the words of company spokes person Bethany Millbright "eat the particles that humans can't see."

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.