Category: Earth News

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TSA Luggage Disaster Blamed on Mercury Retrograde

After thousands of bags have become lost or misplaced at airports across the country, officials at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport blamed the mishaps on an astrological phenomena called "Mercury Retrograde."

Yellowstone Caldera Openly Mocks Chile’s Calbuco Volcano

In a rare public appearance, the Yellowstone Caldera mocked Chile's Calbuco volcano for a less that stellar eruption late Thursday night.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Leonard Cohen Dead at 82

Leonard Cohen, the hugely influential singer and songwriter whose work spanned nearly 50 years, died at the age of 82.

Antifa Declares IPO, Listing On NYSE

NYSE officials have yet to decide on a ticker symbol.

Homeland Security Declares First Successful Smurf/Muslim Gene Splicing

After several setbacks in the first few weeks of the Donald Trump administration, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced during an early morning press conference that they had successfully cloned a Smurf with a Muslim. The DHS, has been working on this top secret program for almost two weeks and said they are happy with the progress.

Who Said It: Donald Trump or Jesus Christ?

This is the hardest quiz you'll ever take. Good luck!

Commercial Flights Crash After Air Traffic Control Switch to Irish Accent

New Jersey officials have confirmed at least one crash of a Boeing 757, which fell to the ground shortly after departing Newark, New Jersey.

Area Man Claims He Can Defeat ISIS with Pork and Goats

An area man claims that he can defeat Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL), also known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria or ISIS, with various pork products and goat sex. Trey Collins has grown tired of what he perceives as a lack of action by the United States government in dealing with the growing ISIS menace.
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