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CalTech Scientist Surprised to Find Willard Scott Still Alive

According to Caltech Astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that Willard Scott is still alive. Dr. Aldrich, who has written extensively on String Theory and alternative universes, maintains that what we see and perceive on a daily basis is may not be real, however he is willing to make an exception for the weather presenter, author, television personality and occasional actor.

Plastic Bag Ban Threatens Garbage Patch Vortex, Organizer Says

Angela Hansen organized the grassroots effort to save the Pacific Garbage Vortex Patch when she realized that the new ban would force local residents to bring their own paper or canvas bags while shopping.

Obama Pens Executive Order To Allow Syrian Refugees Asylum in U.S.

Today, President Obama wrote and signed an executive order that will allow Syrian refugees free egress across United States borders beginning Thursday, November 26, 2015.

Shocker: Paris Shooters Actually Christians

Paris police, in conjunction with Interpol, dropped a bombshell this morning. A manifesto uncovered during the investigation is now pointing investigators in a new, and unforeseen, direction.

ISIS Attacks Bolster GOP’s Agenda

Proving that global politics produces strange bedfellows, many Republican loudmouths are glomming onto the recent terrorist attacks in Paris as evidence that “other” people should not be welcome within “our” borders. And subtlety is not their specialty.

Team America: World Police Depart For Paris

In light of the recent terrorist attack in Paris, France, and the possibility more might come, The United States' premiere fighting force, Team America: World Police departed for France early Thursday morning.
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