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Area Cashier Not Fired for Licking Cantaloupe

SPD Grocery Store checkout clerk Megan Albright will not be terminated for "taste testing" customer Cantaloupes. Ms. Albright, who has worked for the highly-praised local grocery story for almost a year, has been using an unique method to test produce for freshness.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Lemmy Kilmister Dead at 70

Lemmy Kilmister, founding member and frontman of Motörhead. has died. He was 70 years old. Kilmister — who legendarily survived diabetes and implantation of a heart defibrillator — was diagnosed with the disease just two days ago, the band said in a statement.

Gish Gallop Poem: The Rats In The Hats

Gish Gallop presents an adult poem written for the child in your heart. A drunk child.

Area Waitress Attempts to Serve Passive-Aggressive Customers

Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.

Police Fraternity Planning a Surprise Party for Quentin Tarantino

Following comments made by American film director and actor Quentin Tarantino at a New York City protest, the Fraternal Order of Police Officers announced last week that it was planning a "surprise party" for him as a way of thanking him for his recent "support" of police officers.

How to Make Fucking Refried Beans, by Loretta Splitair

Your parenting guilt is easily fixed with the following recipe that not only your children will love, but it makes a kick-ass pot of refried beans.

Gish Gallop Review: Finnegans Wake is an Impenetrable Piece of Crap

What's the difference between a pile of dog crap and Finnegan's Wake? You can avoid the dog crap by walking around it. I have to read and review Finnegan's Wake.
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