August, 2022


Americans Bypass Costly Medical Procedures With Airport Baggage Scanners

The new services have increased passenger throughput by as much as 9 seconds per encounter and have identified and diagnosed over 712 severe conditions since January.

Unemployed Man Politely Turns Down Lettuce Picking Job

Theo Dodge of Fresno, CA isn't interesting in doing any of that "Mexican" work.

Nation’s First Dog Diagnosed with Autism

Phoebe, a 1-year-old Lhasa Apso from Grass Valley, CA, is the nation's first dog diagnosed with Autism.

Chris Christie Closes Down Area Golden Corral

Christ Christie is back in the news today as reports came in from an area Golden Corral restaurant that the New Jersey governor had shut down the popular family-style buffet restaurant so he could dine in private.

Wednesday Afternoon The New “Monday” for Unemployed Man

Sandusky's Dale Neer can't explain why his "Mondays" have moved to Wednesday.


Mexican Cartels Using Drones to Traffic Children and Fentanyl

The drones are capable of carrying 54kgs (120lbs) of payload upwards of 20km (12.4 miles) from cartel bases within Mexico

Joel Osteen Now Offering Payday Loans

"It's God's will for you to live in prosperity instead of poverty," said Mr. Osteen commenting on his new enterprise.

Corporate Stock Buy Backs Allow Chipotle Worker to Continue to Live Just Above the Poverty Line

Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that she's excited about the almost 1 trillion dollars worth of corporate stock buy-backs.

Report: Siri and Alexa Tryst Produces Concerning Offspring

An online hookup between Apple's Siri and Amazon's Alexa has produced the Internet's first AI offspring.

Cancer Patient Prays to God For Help, God Says Nope

During a late-night prayer session, Louise and Sam prayed incessantly to God. And for hours, nothing. Not a peep from the almighty. Not even a small sign from above.