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Avatar 2 Postponed as Writers Disagree About Which Disney Movie to Copy

Avatar, released 14 years after the original, received distinction by grossing over $2 billion in theaters in 2009 and is widely considered the visually-superior execution of the same old story.

Unitarians Pick Willem DaFoe As Their Version of Jesus Christ

The Unitarian Universalist Association has made a bold move to broaden its appeal.

Border Prayer Rugs Blamed on Fake El Paso Flea Market

Border immigration and DEA officials now admit that prayer rugs found at the Mexican border were apart of an elaborate prank.

South Park Creators to Produce Jade Helm 2020: The Musical

The creators of South Park are promising a musical version of the 2015 military exercises called Jade Helm.

Charlie’s Angels Sequel Will Feature Gay Lead Cast

The critically-acclaimed action-film triple-threat team Charlie’s Angels from the year 2000 will be rebooted next Summer under a Netflix Original Film title, with one drastic modification to the image of the Angels.

Texas Outlaws Vegan Gravy

Texas is the first state in the union to ban vegan gravy.

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

The Amazing Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Fails to Prevent Existential Crisis

A creeping and gnawing feeling that something isn't right continued its steady march for the 11th consecutive year as area woman Margaret Crowley failed to find enlightenment after purchasing the amazing and revolutionary Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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