Category: Music

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Joni Mitchell Cured of Morgellons, Claims Dr. Joseph Mercola

According to renowned alternative medicine proponent Dr. Joseph Mercola, pop star Joni Mitchell has been cured of Morgellons Disease after a 15 month treatment using a variety of products purchased from his his website Mercola.com.

Area Rabbit Unimpressed by 1980s-era New Wave Music

An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."

R. Kelly’s Children’s Album Postponed Until Next Year

A spokesperson for the controversial entertainer R. Kelly says that his upcoming children's album is being postponed until next year.

David Bowie’s Ashes to be Carried By North Korean Rocket

A spokesman for Mainman productions, David Bowie's production company, has said that rock star's ashes will be carried by a Rodong-1 rocket into space later this month.

The Rock-afire Explosion Reunion Timeline

Born from the ashes of the Wolf Pack 5 and the Hard Luck Bears, The Rock-afire Explosion blew up the eighties, leaving a generation of face-melted preteens in its wake.

Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel

Emergency personnel were summoned to the posh Bourges Hotel in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf District this morning. In an official briefing at 10 am, Pacific time, in the Bourges convention hall, Ms. D’lune spoke through tears to the media.

Johnny Cash Estate to Release 14 Hours of the Artist’s Mumbling

After 16 years since his death, the Johnny Cash estate decided to release over 14 hours of the rebel artist's mumblings.

Donald Trump Claims John Lennon Is His Favorite Band

In an odd and error-laden tweet, President Donald Trump said John Lennon was his favorite 'band."
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