January, 2022

Music

Coldplay Promises Not to Put Super Bowl Fans To Sleep

Super Bowl fans attending the 50th mega NFL event breathed a sigh of relief on Friday when the halftime entertainment headlined by the British rock band Coldplay promised not to put everyone to sleep.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Glenn Frey, Dead at 67

Glenn Frey, a founding member and guitarist of the Eagles, has died Gish Gallop has learned. We're told the cause of death was a combination of complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis, and pneumonia.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: David Bowie Dead at 69

David Bowie, the rock and roll visionary whose career spanned six decades, died Sunday after a long battle with cancer. He was 69.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Lemmy Kilmister Dead at 70

Lemmy Kilmister, founding member and frontman of Motörhead. has died. He was 70 years old. Kilmister — who legendarily survived diabetes and implantation of a heart defibrillator — was diagnosed with the disease just two days ago, the band said in a statement.
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Pope Francis Blesses Grade A Indica

In a surprise revision to the recent Papal encyclical, Pope Francis has decided to bless Indica strains of Marijuana.

Damnation Army Seeks Important Satanist Thrift Shopping Demographic

According to a prospectus provided by the Church, their Citrus Heights flagship store has grown by over 400%.

Subaru Announces 2023 Limited Edition Bernie Sanders Outback

Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans on releasing a limited run of what is tentatively called the Bernie Sanders Outback LE or Limited Edition.

State of Jefferson Website Honored with Layout of the Year Award

The Jurisdiction of the Jefferson State Militia website was nominated last year for its innovative design and faced stiff competition.

Inflation Concerns Drive Motel 6 to Rename to Motel 7

The 56-year-old budget hospitality and lodging chain Motel 6 announced this week that it is going to rename itself given extraordinary inflation and economic pressures.