December, 2021

Food

Commentary: Who Do I Have to Blow to Get A Meal Delivered in this Town?

I would happily pay a delivery charge-hell, I’d even tolerate a long wait time if it meant I didn’t have to put on pants, set down my Manhattan, drag my ass downtown, put out my cigarette, and talk to people. I shouldn’t have to talk to people to eat.

Area Cashier Not Fired for Licking Cantaloupe

SPD Grocery Store checkout clerk Megan Albright will not be terminated for "taste testing" customer Cantaloupes. Ms. Albright, who has worked for the highly-praised local grocery story for almost a year, has been using an unique method to test produce for freshness.

Area Waitress Attempts to Serve Passive-Aggressive Customers

Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.

How to Make Fucking Refried Beans, by Loretta Splitair

Your parenting guilt is easily fixed with the following recipe that not only your children will love, but it makes a kick-ass pot of refried beans.
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Popular

Anonymous Hackers Destroy Bitcoin

Anonymous hackers hacked into multiple databases related to the mining of BTC, individual users' wallets, and other various networks working with BTC exchange as a whole.

Start-Up Facing Backlash over Patented Spider Air Filters

Texas start-up Breathe-Clean has come under fire for it's SpiderEasy of hypoallergenic air-filters which feature live genetically modified arachnids who, in the words of company spokes person Bethany Millbright "eat the particles that humans can't see."

Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.