Category: Food

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New Years Resolution Thwarted By Canal Gate

Nevada City, CA -- Burt Bowles is fed up with fatphobia. Trying to live up to his New Year's resolution to lose weight, Bowles, of Nevada City, decided to take a walk along...

How to Make a Fucking Iceberg Lettuce Salad, by Loretta Splitair

It's time to resurrect the majesty of iceberg lettuce. And I'm here to tell you, step-by-step, how to do that.

Texas Outlaws Vegan Gravy

Texas is the first state in the union to ban vegan gravy.

Unemployed Man Politely Turns Down Lettuce Picking Job

Theo Dodge of Fresno, CA isn't interesting in doing any of that "Mexican" work.

How To Ripen an Avocado By Shoving It Up Your Ass, by Loretta Splittair

If you have a love/hate relationship with avocados like I do, stick around. I have a tip that will not only help you with unripe avocados, but also make you the talk of the dinner table, of your asshole friends on Facebook or whatever.

Illinois Farmer Donates Entire Unsold Soybean Crop to Local Food Bank

A Dixon farmer came up with a charitable solution for his unsold soybeans.

Noam Chomsky Resigns from MIT to Become a Pasta Maker

This was a radical change from his old life, but he’s made it work by keeping all the profits for himself.

Velveeta Pilots New Line of Meat

The meat product, which is called Velmeata, is said to have a shelf life of almost 47 years and requires no refrigeration, according to company officials.
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