97% Chance of Contracting Herpes at Burning Man
The Pershing County Sheriff in conjunction with other Lovelock, NV officials has published a 412 page report warning that almost 97% of Burning Man "degenerates" will contract Herpes at this year's festival.
Joni Mitchell Cured of Morgellons, Claims Dr. Joseph Mercola
According to renowned alternative medicine proponent Dr. Joseph Mercola, pop star Joni Mitchell has been cured of Morgellons Disease after a 15 month treatment using a variety of products purchased from his his website Mercola.com.
Trump Censors Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown Iran Episode
In an attempt to control the messaging around Iran, the Trump administration announced it would limited access to an Anthony Bourdain show on Iran.
Punk Rocker Claims True Intent Of Anarchy
In an attempt to alleviate a slow news day, we stumbled upon an Anarchist's Group on Facebook
Ted Cruz to Star in Next Batman Movie
According to Hollywood insiders, Presidential hopeful and Tea Party favorite Senator Ted Cruz has announced a multi-year contract with Warner Brothers Picture to star in as many as 3 Batman films as "the Penguin."
Black Militias Spotted in Kentucky: Gun Control is Now Within Reach
Gun control is finally in reach after African-Americans arm themselves.
Border Prayer Rugs Blamed on Fake El Paso Flea Market
Border immigration and DEA officials now admit that prayer rugs found at the Mexican border were apart of an elaborate prank.
Robin Williams-Hitler DNA Mixed Up In Cloning Accident
Scientists at the esteemed New York Stem Cell Foundation accidentally mixed the DNA of Robin Williams and Adolph Hitler to disastrous results.
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