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September, 2021

Art

Sacramento City College Grants Joe Rogan Honorary AA Degree

Mr. Rogan plans no immediate career changes but is open to teaching a few classes.

American Sniper to be Made into a Lego Movie

In an expected announcement from Warner Brothers Pictures, the entertainment giant says it plans on producing a Lego version of its hugely popular, Clint Eastwood-directed film American Sniper. According to a Warner Brothers internal memo, after a long negotiation with Legos executives, the large media company was able to give them "an offer they couldn't refuse."

Ted Cruz to Star in Next Batman Movie

According to Hollywood insiders, Presidential hopeful and Tea Party favorite Senator Ted Cruz has announced a multi-year contract with Warner Brothers Picture to star in as many as 3 Batman films as "the Penguin."

Pornhub Struggling With Huge Load

The adult-content giant welcomes this thrust in visits.

Holden Caulfield Calls Coronavirus “Phony”

An Agerstown, Pennsylvania prep student doesn't believe a single word the authorities are telling him.
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Increased Chemtrail Spraying Leading to Premature Guinea Pig Deaths

Increased aerosolized chemtrail spraying over Northern California has led to an increase in small pet deaths according to area veterinarians.

“Racists aren’t the real racists. You’re the real racist,” Says Area Racist

Merton Davies knows a racist when he sees one.

Eric Cartman Based On South Park Creator’s Pet Guinea Pig

According to a new tell-all book, the creator of the Comedy Central show South Park based the popular character Eric Cartman on his childhood guinea pig.

Most Americans Still OK with the 71,000 Afghans We Bombed to Death

Mr. Bufton doesn't think about the casualties in the Afghan theater. All he knows is that he's keeping America safe.

Low IQ Man Can’t Handle The Hectic Pace of California

A California man can't hack the challenges of living in the golden state anymore.