May, 2022

Chemtrails

Conspiracy Theorist: Bend, Oregon Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Bend, Oregon is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

California Legislature Votes to Allow State of Jefferson to Secede

The State of California Legislature has voted to approve the State of Jefferson to secede from California and form a new state under Article IV, Section 3 of the United States Constitution. The formation of the new state has only one hurdle and that’s the approval from Congress to be admitted into the Union.

Wiccan Chemtrail Sky Dragon Takes First Flight

North San Juan resident and chemtrail researcher Skyy Wolford is relieved that his Wiccan Sky Dragon has taken his first flight to defeat the Chemtrail “geoengineering” scourge.

Obama Can Now Shoot his “Gay Agenda” with Rainbows, Conservatives Claim

According to American Conservatives, a recent photo distributed by the White House proves that President Obama has terrifying magical powers to make, in their words, "the Gay Agenda more real than it ever has been."

Chemtrail Channeling Session Interrupted with Constant Farting

'ET' [Extraterrestrial] Channeler Darryl Anka was repeatedly interrupted by a series of loud farts from his channeled 'guest' Bashar at his recent appearance at the "Waking Universe-Open Mind" alternative wellness festival at the Red Lion Inn in Redding, California.
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Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.