November, 2021

Alternative

Democrat Scientists Create New Virus To Avoid Going Back To Work

The leader of a team of scientists secretly creating what's been dubbed "the lazy virus" is under arrest.

Samsung Quietly Removes PornHub App From SmartTVs

Samsung America has not issued a statement regarding the "mistake."

Coronavirus Shows Promise in Killing Carnivorous ‘Murder Hornets’

New research suggests the novel coronavirus irritated "murder hornets."

The MLA and APA In Epic Battle Over Coronavirus Style Guides

The two influential organizations are locked in an epic battle over how best to cite the novel coronavirus, also known as COVID-19.

Study: Chemtrail Exposure Impacts Spelling Abilities

A 14 month study conducted by NASA in cooperation with the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has concluded that exposure over time to Chemtrails impacts one's ability to spell and construct a coherent argument.
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Popular

Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last CheetosĀ® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.