Sacramento, CA — On the heels of a recent automatic voter fiasco that led to 1,500 people being placed on the California voter rolls, the Department of Motors added insult to injury today when officials announced that several pieces of living room furniture have also been registered to vote.
Earlier this week, California’s top elections official said he doesn’t yet know if any of the roughly 1,500 people mistakenly registered to vote by the Department of Motor Vehicles cast ballots in the June primary. Secretary of State Alex Padilla said his office is investigating and working with counties to ensure ineligible people don’t vote in the November election. He offered no work on whether the agency is looking into improperly registered furniture.
“The roughly 1,500 people either told the DMV they were ineligible or didn’t confirm their eligibility but were registered anyway,” Mr. Padilla said. “The group included at least one non-citizen living legally in the state and perhaps many more. It could also include people under 18 or those ineligible to vote because of a criminal conviction.”
The DMV said none of the people mistakenly registered are people living in the country illegally, however, as of this writing, several pieces of cushy furniture and at least four sets of patio chairs are set to vote Democrat in the upcoming election, which has led Republican lawmakers to cry foul.
“This is just the kind of thing you’d expect from the Deep State,” said Devin Nunes (R-Fresno), who represents California’s conservative 22nd Congressional district and ironically several stretches of Iowa which employ undocumented workers. “I have seen these sofas, and they’re not voting for Trump, that I can tell you. I’ve spoken to the President about this, and he promises a full investigation.”
The White House has denied there will be an investigation into what is now being called ‘Furniture-gate” by some right-wing television hosts. Trump has denied even knowing who Devin Nunes is, according to a White House press release.
The furniture industry celebrated the announcement but had a cautiously optimistic tone.
“We’ve been advocating for furniture rights for over a century,” said Furniture Manufacturers of America spokesperson Bethany Millbright. “However, in this contentious political climate, we believe that voting rights for them should be shelved until things settle down a bit.”
According to the California DMV, they believe voting furniture is a ‘non-issue’ as most sofas and chairs can’t drive to polling places, nor do they have the ability to fill out ballots.