Rocklin, CA — Bass Pro Shops in a cooperative effort with the Friends of the NRA is offering a four-part workshop to identify those of the Islam faith properly. This follows a failed attempt by President Trump to require federally mandated wristbands for believers of Allah.

The workshops will begin with basic stereotypes and move on to identifying individuals trying to blend in as average Americans. Then the classes will advance to threat assessment and conclude with advanced training for concealed carry Islam interactions. Turnout is expected to be excellent, as most open spots filled up within a day of the announcement.

We traveled to the nearest Bass Pro Shop in Rocklin to ask some questions from this outspoken group of outdoor enthusiasts.

“I say send ’em all back to their sandpits and nuke the crap out of place,” said Bob as he sifted through the various shades of camo undershirts.

“They should wear the wristbands, so I know to have my finger close to the release button on my Glock I keep next to the ole’ family jewels,” Joe told us as he grabbed a numbered ticket at the gun counter.

“Tell ’em this is a Christian country, and Jesus says believe in him or get the hell out,” Sue revealed as she pondered the selection of bird feeders.


We found the Friends of the NRA booth selling raffle tickets for a Bushmaster AR-15. They didn’t want to make an official statement but were excited to be helping with an educational workshop. There is no age requirement for the workshop, but all participants will be receiving important updates from the NRA weekly via email. They will also receive a ten pack of Muhammad shooting targets.

The Organization of Islamic Cooperation has condemned the workshop only to be dismissed by the following tweets from @realDonaldTrump,

The OIC has a P.O. Box in Saudi Arabia, so I don’t think they are qualified to speak about Islamic issues in America.

This is America, not Saudi Arabia #MAGA #ShopBassPro #NRA #ShopWalmart