Xander X. Xanthangum

Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.
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Woodstock 50th Anniversary Postage Stamps To Feature LSD Adhesive

If your mellow has been harshed lately, these are sure to help.

Giant Sarlacc Discovered in Grass Valley Sinkhole

Local workers made a startling discovery when performing repairs on Grass Valley’s seven-story tall sinkhole on Freeman Lane. While shoring up and placing supports at the foot of the sinkhole, a Sarlacc suddenly appeared from below devouring three workers and two earthmovers in a matter of seconds.

Republicans Take Aim at Health Care

Pew-Pew! Will it be hit or miss this time?

Gated Communities Discovered to be Massive Secret Government Social Experiment

An exhaustive study revealed that gated communities are really vast government experiments.

Republicans to Roll Out Replacement to Replacement Health Plan

Donald Trump today announced the bigliest, bestest, most tremendous healthcare plan ever would be called Conservative American Care Act or CACA to replace the Affordable Care Act (ACA). The Republicans in Congress are busily preparing CACA PowerPoint presentations, but the smooth release has been impacted because of committee retention.

Alt-Right Mascot, Pepe the Frog, Accidentally Eaten at Area Cafe

Pepe the Frog, beloved mascot of the alt-right movement, was inadvertently sauteed and consumed at Ike's Quarter Cafe in Nevada City yesterday afternoon. Pepe, whose avatar is used by many commenters on 4chan, Reddit, and Breitbart News, was sitting in the outdoor terraced dining area when he was approached by the busser, Tyler "Earbud" Fulcrum.

Xander X. Xanthangum

Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.
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