July, 2022

Xander X. Xanthangum

Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.
6 POSTS

Alt-Right Mascot, Pepe the Frog, Accidentally Eaten at Area Cafe

Pepe the Frog, beloved mascot of the alt-right movement, was inadvertently sauteed and consumed at Ike's Quarter Cafe in Nevada City yesterday afternoon. Pepe, whose avatar is used by many commenters on 4chan, Reddit, and Breitbart News, was sitting in the outdoor terraced dining area when he was approached by the busser, Tyler "Earbud" Fulcrum.

Republicans Take Aim at Health Care

Pew-Pew! Will it be hit or miss this time?

Woodstock 50th Anniversary Postage Stamps To Feature LSD Adhesive

If your mellow has been harshed lately, these are sure to help.

Gated Communities Discovered to be Massive Secret Government Social Experiment

An exhaustive study revealed that gated communities are really vast government experiments.

Republicans to Roll Out Replacement to Replacement Health Plan

Donald Trump today announced the bigliest, bestest, most tremendous healthcare plan ever would be called Conservative American Care Act or CACA to replace the Affordable Care Act (ACA). The Republicans in Congress are busily preparing CACA PowerPoint presentations, but the smooth release has been impacted because of committee retention.
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Mattel Reveals Controversial Gender-Neutral Barbie

Critics are calling the new toy a craven attempt to capitalize on changing social norms.

Mt. Everest Daredevil Climber Escapes Death With Descent in Wingsuit

Dr. Margaery Turell said this was the fastest way down the world's tallest mountain.

Rejected State of Jefferson Flags

Gish Gallop Salutes the rejected flags of the State of Jefferson. Do you see any that you think should be re-considered?

Pro-Trump Surgeon Goes “Mask Commando” During Procedure

A Dallas, Texas surgeon could be in hot water after refusing to wear personal protective equipment during a procedure.

City of Cleveland Reports Dumpster Shortage While Republican Convention Is In town

City officials in Cleveland this morning were alarmed to find they are facing a massive dumpster shortage. Early data points to the shortage being directly related to the 2016 Republican National Convention being held in Cleveland.