Quantcast
October, 2021

Violet Matenapolis

Born Alma Greenwalt in Modesto, California Violet Matenapolis changed her first name after leaving home at the age of 17 to make her debut in Hollywood as a dancer. She fell into journalism by accident when her first husband, newspaper mogul Victor Matenapolis, discovered her scathing review of a play she had auditioned for scribbled on the back of a grocery list and put her to work. 5 years into their marriage, Victor was tragically killed in a freak accident while cleaning the tank of their beloved python, Stella. Her finger relentlessly on the pulse of what's hot in popular culture, Ms. Matenapolis spends the majority of her time hunched in the corner of any drinking establishment that offers "signature cocktails", feverishly hunting down stories from the darker recesses of the internet.
8 POSTS

California Proposes Special “Camps” For Anti-Vaxxers

In a last-minute press conference called to address the recent contagious disease outbreaks, California Governor Newsom proposed a solution to deal with the Anti-Vaccination or Anti-Vax movement.

Gun Violence Caused by Assholes Not the Mentally Ill, Study Claims

A groundbreaking study reveals the true cause of gun violence.

North Korean Missile Debris Found in Northern California

As major world powers attend an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council to address the successful launch of a North Korean satellite this weekend, federal authorities flooded into Nevada County Sunday morning to investigate what is thought to be debris from Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un’s “friendly launch” into space.

Locals and Flatlanders Face Off in a Competition for Shittiest Drivers

In another terse “locals” against “transplants” debate, the Nevada County Facebook community pages have been heating up over which faction is doing all of the shitty driving in the area, and now the online fracas has spilled into the streets.

Obama Proposes “Leper-like” Colonies For Anti-Vaxxers

In a last minute press conference called to address the recent contagious disease outbreaks, President Obama has proposed a solution to deal with the Anti-Vaccination or Anti-Vax movement.
spot_img

Popular

Container Load of Sex Toys Wash Up on Alameda Shorefront

The accident underscores supply and distribution chain issues that keep economic growth flaccid.

Babylon Bee Announces Anti-Masturbation App

Christians have new hope for a current "hand-demic."

Online Ads for Giant Black Clocks Target Area Woman

Elaine Odell of Beaverton, OR wonders if she inadvertently answered the wrong question.

Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Idiot Exclaims: “I’m oppressed! Just watch them arrest me for storming the Oval Office.”

He was overheard shouting "Let's go Brandon" moments before being tackled by Secret Service personnel.