June, 2022

Shady Grove

Shady Grove was born Eugene Wojohouski, May 9th, 1965, in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. As a young boy, he had a penchant for shiny objects and colorful stones. His claims of being able to look into the stones and see the future, as well a being able to find buried treasure, were met generally with great skepticism and an occasional tight wedgie. He attended Hicksville High School on Long Island where he excelled at spending the day locked in various school gym lockers, day dreaming, and organizing show tune ensembles with his friends.

1,500,000 Gallons Of Sewage Spews Into Local Lake

The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada county, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.

News in Brief: Shocking Beer Study with Men

Government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Dr. Evil Sues Hillary For Infringement And Impersonation

A federal judge issued a gag order this morning in response to a lawsuit filed in New York’s 96th District court.

Reuters: Cat Stevens Passing Not Related To The Clintons

Cat Stevens, also known as Yusuf Islam, also known as Steven Georgiou, is a British singer- songwriter, humanitarian, and activist. Most notably, he walked away from a productive music career to become a humanitarian voice.

Huma Abedin And Anthony Weiner Victims Of Apparent Murder Suicide

NYPD officers were shocked and horrified by the scene they encountered upon investigation of a domestic disturbance in an upscale Chelsea neighborhood this morning.


QAnon Struggles to Portray Jill Biden as a Man

The far-right conspiracy group is having trouble libeling and slandering Jill Biden.

Inter-dimensional Vortex Briefly Appears Above Sacramento

Residents of California's State Capital were both terrified and dumbstruck this AM when what appeared to be a replica of Earth appeared in the sky.

Denis Leary to Tour with Newly Discovered Bill Hicks Jokes

American comedian Denis Leary announced that he would embark on his first comedy tour in over 15 years after he recently discovered a vault containing over 3000 unused Bill Hicks jokes.

Area Excavator Guy Exercises His Climatology Know-How

After what can only be called a bark beetle plaque that has killed tens of thousands of drought-weaken trees around California, excavator operator Rob Barrick had a starling revelation: the massive tree die off is mostly due to Chemtrail spraying operations and not the common bark beetle.

Armed Militia Battle Anti-Trump Protesters in Portland

Members of an armed militia group from rural Virginia calling themselves APART, were detained by police over night after the group took it upon themselves to “arrest” and “detain” several anti-Trump protesters from the newly formed activist group “Portland’s Resistance."