January, 2022

Shady Grove

Shady Grove was born Eugene Wojohouski, May 9th, 1965, in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. As a young boy, he had a penchant for shiny objects and colorful stones. His claims of being able to look into the stones and see the future, as well a being able to find buried treasure, were met generally with great skepticism and an occasional tight wedgie. He attended Hicksville High School on Long Island where he excelled at spending the day locked in various school gym lockers, day dreaming, and organizing show tune ensembles with his friends.
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Obama Backpedals On Assault Rifle Ban After Shooting Cheney

In an shocking turn of events, and great news for the NRA, President Obama has reversed his stance on gun control, especially on assault type weapons. Early this morning, a large police force and the United States Secret Service descended upon 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

NRA: A New Revolution In Gun Control

The NRA held a massive press conference this morning to announce a side shift in their stance on firearms and gun control in America.

Big Announcement from the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre

The NRA held a massive press conference this morning to announce a side shift in their stance on firearms and gun control in America.

Mylie Cyrus’ Nuptials Are Showing

In an impromptu news conference today, Mylie Cyrus announced plans for her upcoming nuptials. Clad in a loose knit doily that left nothing to the imagination and a worse than Beiber haircut, she prattled her news like a meth queen.

Local Christians Protest Murderer’s Allocution

Three local Christian activist groups gathered their members together and carpooled to the Nevada County Superior Courthouse after reading an article in the Union newspaper about today’s scheduled allocution of convicted killer, Mikal Hanscomb.
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Pope Francis Blesses Grade A Indica

In a surprise revision to the recent Papal encyclical, Pope Francis has decided to bless Indica strains of Marijuana.

Damnation Army Seeks Important Satanist Thrift Shopping Demographic

According to a prospectus provided by the Church, their Citrus Heights flagship store has grown by over 400%.

Subaru Announces 2023 Limited Edition Bernie Sanders Outback

Japanese automaker Subaru announced earlier this week that it plans on releasing a limited run of what is tentatively called the Bernie Sanders Outback LE or Limited Edition.

State of Jefferson Website Honored with Layout of the Year Award

The Jurisdiction of the Jefferson State Militia website was nominated last year for its innovative design and faced stiff competition.

Inflation Concerns Drive Motel 6 to Rename to Motel 7

The 56-year-old budget hospitality and lodging chain Motel 6 announced this week that it is going to rename itself given extraordinary inflation and economic pressures.