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October, 2021

Shady Grove

Shady Grove was born Eugene Wojohouski, May 9th, 1965, in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. As a young boy, he had a penchant for shiny objects and colorful stones. His claims of being able to look into the stones and see the future, as well a being able to find buried treasure, were met generally with great skepticism and an occasional tight wedgie. He attended Hicksville High School on Long Island where he excelled at spending the day locked in various school gym lockers, day dreaming, and organizing show tune ensembles with his friends.
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Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel

Emergency personnel were summoned to the posh Bourges Hotel in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf District this morning. In an official briefing at 10 am, Pacific time, in the Bourges convention hall, Ms. D’lune spoke through tears to the media.

1,500,000 Gallons Of Sewage Spews Into Local Lake

The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada county, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.

Jim Morrison Found Alive In Paris Assisted Living Facility

According to Reuters and the Associated Press International, James Douglas Morrison, the lead singer of the rock group, “The Doors,” is alive in a Paris retirement home.

News in Brief: Shocking Beer Study with Men

Government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Dr. Evil Sues Hillary For Infringement And Impersonation

A federal judge issued a gag order this morning in response to a lawsuit filed in New York’s 96th District court.
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