January, 2022

Seth Johnston

Seth Johnston is a stand-up comedian living off-grid in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and, when supplies are low, Portland, Oregon. He observes Nevada County closely by utilizing a variety of remote viewing techniques and files his reports using long distance CB radio. In his spare time he enjoys frantically writing in separate notebooks simultaneously with both hands and also likes to take canoe trips with his dog Chloe. His lifelong dream is to create a new type of math.
9 POSTS

Vaping Stops Chemtrails, Study Says

Local Sierra Super Stop parking lot orator and ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced the discovery of a completely safe and effective method for neutralizing the blanket of chemtrails over Nevada County.

Trump Vows War Against Numbers

Republican President Donald Trump unveiled his most audacious plan yet at a press conference Wednesday night, vowing to wage war on the numbers 0-9.

Bernie Sanders Calls for Eco-Friendly Chemtrail Reform

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders made a surprise campaign stop in Nevada County on Monday afternoon. Sanders visited the area to announce his plan for a more environmentally friendly chemtrails program.

General Mills Debuts New Cereal for Truthers

Consumer goods giant General Mills debuted a new breakfast cereal at area Sierra Super Stop locations this week. The new brand, called Truthi-O’s, is the first General Mill’s product marketed specifically to awakened patriot consumers sometimes referred to as “truthers.”

Obama Adds Own Face to Mount Rushmore

Construction began this week on a project that will add the likeness of President Obama to the Mount Rushmore National Memorial. It is the first major construction on the iconic monument since 1941.
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Area Man Grows Giant Hairy Cock

Walter Truman is primarily an egg farmer in Camptonville, but in an attempt to make a better layer he also breeds chickens.

Supply Chain Issues Linked to Massive Cat Attacks

Department of Defense officials say they are taking "humane steps" to help "mitigate the threat."

Trump Pushes “Eating Your Shit” as Treatment for COVID

In 2020, it was bleach, in 2021, it was horse paste, and now in 2022, it's your piss and shit as "cures" for COVID-19.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Esteemed CNN Chief Political Correspondent Dana Bash admitted this morning that she is still struggling with her brother over a Big Wheel he received when they were children.

Area Sports Collector Suspicious of Autographed Ball

Area sports memorabilia collector and owner of Ron's Sports Emporium Ron Jessup has some concerns about a recent baseball brought in by an area man.