Cleveland Sam

Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.
Advertismentspot_img

New Study: Chemtrails Are Great For Your Complexion

At Sierra Community College in Grass Valley, CA, science student Sandra Willis has made an ironic discovery about the utility of chemtrails: they are great for your complexion. Unfortunately, Sandra Willis' discovery might sway naysayers into the pro-chemtrail camp.

DNA Test Reveals Trump Is A Descendant Of King Henry VIII

The cable news network CNN is reporting that President Trump is directly related to King Henry the VIII of England. The President received news today during his marathon morning television routine. According to those close to Mr. Trump, he had always assumed he was of Aryan heritage.

Hank Williams Jr. Endorses Hillary Clinton

Hank Williams, Jr. has withdrawn his support for Republican candidate Donald Trump, and endorsed Democrat nominee Hillary Clinton. The move shocks Williams fans all over the nation.

DHS And FEMA Mobilize Ahead Of Imminent Declaration Of Martial Law

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) have announced that they are mobilizing their assets ahead of the President's planned declaration of Martial Law, which is likely to occur towards the end of his presidency.

Trump Attacked in Lake Tahoe Bathroom

While campaigning on Lake Tahoe's South shore this week, Donald Trump was found in his Montbleu Resort hotel bathroom late last night by hotel bellman, Thomas Thome covered in ice. His head was shaved completely bald.

Crayola To Debut Trump Inspired Color

President Trump's supporters are reacting on social media, calling for an all-out boycott of Crayola and its subsidiary companies.

Peeps Made With Real Chicken

The animal rights organization is alleging that Just Born's flagship confection is made with real chicken. Peeps is a marshmallow candy shaped like baby chicks, it is most popular around the Easter Holiday.

Illegal Mexican Burro Seeks Asylum In L.A. Church

Pedro, an 11 year old Mexican burro made the long journey, burrowing underneath the border and arriving at the Catholic Holy United Church of Christ in Los Angeles, California. The burro has been taken in against federal law and is officially seeking asylum as a political refugee.

Cleveland Sam

Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.
Advertismentspot_img