May, 2022

Cleveland Sam

Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.
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Musician J. Geils Dead At 71

Gish Gallop has learned John Warren Geils Jr., the artist known professionally as J. Geils and part of the rock group The J. Geils Band, was found dead in his Groton, Massachusetts home. He was 71.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel Outlaws Gun Violence

In a bold move Mayor Rahm Emanuel has decided to make gun violence illegal in Chicago. Anyone found guilty of shooting will receive harsher sentences, including a "serious timeout" according to Emanuel.

Trump Buys Clinton Email Server To Store Hospital COVID Data

In a late-night impulse purchase, President Trump bought Hillary Clinton's old email server.

Crayola To Debut Trump Inspired Color

President Trump's supporters are reacting on social media, calling for an all out boycott of Crayola and it's subsidiary companies.

Richard Simmons To Aid North Korean Leaders Weight Loss

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's weight has been the subject of ridicule since taking power after his Father's death. Recently he became angered after John McCain called him, "the lil fat kid".
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