Roy Riffle

Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.
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Area Man Could Use a Little Help

42-year-old Truckee man Jaime Igo could use a little help after he and his wife got into an argument shortly after the couple got into a heated argument over their 17 year old son's lack of interest in finding a job. 

Blue’s Clues Wins Bluetooth Trademark Infringement Lawsuit

The popular American children's program Blue's Clues has won a landmark trademark infringement lawsuit against the manufactures of wireless Bluetooth devices.

Wikileaks Releases the Gay Agenda

Conservatives immediately called for a Congressional investigation.

Local Police Fighting Back Against the War on Christmas with Antlers

The Grass Valley, CA police department has opened a new battle line in the war on Christmas this year. Attempting to both soften the image of police and send a message to liberal elites around the country, the small former gold rush town's law enforcement announced today that they will install mule deer antlers and Christmas wreaths on all patrol vehicles.

Area Man Poses As Illegal Immigrant To Get Free Stuff

Area trinket collector, “oriental” food connoisseur and occasional racist Terry Adkinson decided to make a point about illegal immigration last week by pretending to be an undocumented Mexican worker. Mr. Adkinson, who runs a local blog called The Conservarian: Reflections on American Exceptionalism, attempted to apply for assistance at the area Social Services office in Nevada City.

Area Woman Raises Funds To Ship Fleshlights To Troops Overseas

Area women Grace Bowles has started a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Fleshlights to be deployed soldiers overseas.

Kim Jong-un Purchases Michael Jordan

North Korea has made the usual step of purchasing a basketball player.

Area Man Legally Marries Pickup Truck

Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley announced at a weekend family gathering that he had lawfully married his illegally-modified "coal-rolled" Dodge RAM 3500 truck.

Roy Riffle

Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.
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