July, 2022

Portia Fieldstone

Portia Fieldstone was raised on the prairie in North Dakota, growing wheat and working in the fields alongside her family members. Portia, the oldest of thirteen siblings, left North Dakota seven years ago when the “Gluten-Free Movement” wiped out the once prosperous Fieldstone wheat farm. After much soul searching, including a brief disappointing engagement as a street mime at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, Portia moved to Grass Valley with her new husband, Oscar, a journeyman forester who wrote his groundbreaking doctoral thesis on monopine husbandry. In 2012, Oscar was tragically killed in a horrific falling tree accident that wiped out all cell service in Penn Valley for several years.

Cuba Thanks US For Lowering Diplomat Payroll

Cuban state-run television released a statement thanking President Trump for lowering its diplomatic costs.

Gish Gallop Admits Error/Promises a ‘Non-Fake’ Future

he Nevada County Gish Gallop was recently called a “Fake News Site” on Wikipedia, a description recently attached to Gish Gallop by Snopes, the leading debunking source for people trying to determine if information is true.

NRA Announces Final Solution to Child-Involved Shootings

Wayne LaPierre, spokesperson for the National Rifle Association (“NRA”) reached out to members of his organization today, offering heartfelt guidance to families who are faced with the dilemma of balancing Second Amendment gun rights against senseless child deaths.

7 Blocked Countries Respond to Trump’s Travel Ban with an Innovative Solution

Leaders of the seven countries subject to the President’s executive order blocking foreign nationals, migrants, and refugees of those countries from entering the United States acted quickly to formulate a response to this order, which they characterized as insulting and prejudicial to the interests and people of their countries.

President-Elect Trump Creates New Social Media Network

President-Elect Trump announced today that he will be launching a new social media network that he personally will moderate and administer.


Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Paul Horner Dead at 76

Fake-news pioneer Paul Horner, whose hoaxes drew international attention on the Internet and during the 2016 presidential election, died in Phoenix on Sept. 18, officials confirmed. He was 76-ish.

Florida Rape Victim Performs ‘Self-Abortion’ with AR-15

In Florida, while rape victims have to wait a full day to get an abortion, anyone can buy an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle with absolutely no waiting period whatsoever.

Sandy Hook Crisis Actor Disappears in Prison

An inmate at the co-ed Saint Applewhite Prison has gone missing, leaving officials laughing and explaining that she probably never existed in the first place.

Obama Showed Trump “The Film” During Private White House Meeting

During a private meeting last November in the oval office, then President Obama gave President-elect Donald Trump a courtesy "heads-up" by showing the controversial incoming Republican what White House insiders call "The Film."

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.