Mike Tesh
Michael Tesh has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it all more quickly and with less pain.
163 POSTS
Earth News
Velveeta Pilots New Line of Meat
The meat product, which is called Velmeata, is said to have a shelf life of almost 47 years and requires no refrigeration, according to company officials.
Living
Giant Jesus Apologizes For Crushing Several Washington D.C. Tourists
Giant Jesus, the Son of Man and part of the three-person God, has apologized for accidentally crushing dozens of people during his appearance at the National Mall this week.
News
Cracker Barrel Changes Its Name to All Lives Barrel
Facing pressure from its conservative base, the famous country store and restaurant is changing its name.
Earth News
Republicans Angry as God Identifies as Omnisexual
"Clearly God has been reading Liberal college pamphlets."
National News
God Claims Texas Freeze Punishment for Toll Roads
Conservative pundits immediately took to the airwaves to parse the Almighty's tweet.
Popular
Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font
After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.
Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls
Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.
Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money
The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.
Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle
A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.
Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten
Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.
