November, 2021

Mike Tesh

Michael Tesh has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it all more quickly and with less pain.
163 POSTS

Velveeta Pilots New Line of Meat

The meat product, which is called Velmeata, is said to have a shelf life of almost 47 years and requires no refrigeration, according to company officials.

Giant Jesus Apologizes For Crushing Several Washington D.C. Tourists

Giant Jesus, the Son of Man and part of the three-person God, has apologized for accidentally crushing dozens of people during his appearance at the National Mall this week.

Cracker Barrel Changes Its Name to All Lives Barrel

Facing pressure from its conservative base, the famous country store and restaurant is changing its name.

Republicans Angry as God Identifies as Omnisexual

"Clearly God has been reading Liberal college pamphlets."

God Claims Texas Freeze Punishment for Toll Roads

Conservative pundits immediately took to the airwaves to parse the Almighty's tweet.
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Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last CheetosĀ® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.