Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Project Blue Beam Scientists Create Cat Over Nevada City

Several readers have contacted Gish Gallop with reports of a mysterious beam of light emanating from the sky above Nevada City, CA. According to more than one caller, the mysterious beam of light seemed to originate on Coyote Street in north Nevada City. Then it climbed into the upper atmosphere, where it appeared to transform into a large cat. No injuries were reported.

Trump Sells Off Controlling Shares of The National Enquirer

According to sources close to the tabloid newspaper the National Enquirer, Donald Trump has divested himself of all interests and shares in the notorious publication.

How To Ripen an Avocado By Shoving It Up Your Ass, by Loretta Splittair

If you have a love/hate relationship with avocados like I do, stick around. I have a tip that will not only help you with unripe avocados, but also make you the talk of the dinner table, of your asshole friends on Facebook or whatever.

Illinois Farmer Donates Entire Unsold Soybean Crop to Local Food Bank

A Dixon farmer came up with a charitable solution for his unsold soybeans.

Conspiracy Researcher: Missoula, Montana Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher, and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Missoula, Montana is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

Inside the Democrats’ Secret MAGA Re-Education Camps

For the last 4 years, Democrats have been planning to deal with "MAGA," new documents suggest.

Flat Earth Society Releases Flat Earth Beach Ball

The North Carolina chapter of the Flat Earth Society just released what it believes will be the blockbuster water toy of the summer: The Flat Earth Beach Ball.

Bernie Sanders: I Will Make America Metric

Bernie Sanders announced to a crowd of over 14,000 people at a campaign stop at NYU in New York City that when he is elected President, his first executive action will include a plan to convert America's ancient imperial measures and units to the metric system.

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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