Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Obama Criticizes Burning Man for Lack of Diversity

In a rare press conference while on vacation in Hawaii, former President Obama raised concerns about the lack of diversity at Burning Man.

Medicaid Recipient Looking Forward to Getting Back in the Workforce After Coma

Bed-bound 34 year old Bill Bucks of Topeka, Kansas says he's looking forward to getting back into the workforce when the Federal Government requires people on Medicare too seek employment.

How to Make a Fucking Iceberg Lettuce Salad, by Loretta Splitair

It's time to resurrect the majesty of iceberg lettuce. And I'm here to tell you, step-by-step, how to do that.

Johnny Cash Estate to Release 14 Hours of the Artist’s Mumbling

After 16 years since his death, the Johnny Cash estate decided to release over 14 hours of the rebel artist's mumblings.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Texas Man Hospitalized After “Back Alley” Vasectomy

A Midland Texas man is in stable condition at Midland Memorial Hospital after he decided to have a "back alley" vasectomy in the neighboring town of Odessa.

Karl Pilkington Unaware He’s the Leading Prime Minister Candidate

The personality best known for his "performances" on the UK-based show An Idiot Abroad, is now the leading candidate for UK Prime Minister.

Texas Outlaws Vegan Gravy

Texas is the first state in the union to ban vegan gravy.

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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