Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Military Officials: “No Measurable Outbreak” in Cedar Creek, CA

Officials are urging calm stating that there is no "significant outbreak" in Cedar Creek, CA.

Trump Suggests For New Tariffs On Orange Chicken

Trump casually mentioned that he was considering a sizable tariff on Orange Chicken.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

If Re-Elected Trump Promises Free Helicopter Ocean Rides for BLM/ANTIFA Protesters

As coined by Trump himself, Operation Tremendous Vacation is scheduled to begin in two weeks when the President plans to sign an executive order.

Jars of Trump Farts Sell Out in One Day

Thousands of jars of "MAGA-farts" have sold out in one day, making a Topeka man rich.

Review: I’d Rather Eat Nails Than Listen to Glass Houses by Billy Joel

Glass Houses features louder, not loud guitars, bigger drum mixes, and the same shitty lyrics that pollute the rest of his albums. And the cherry on top of the poop sundae is Joel decided to mix in a saxophone apparently to provide some glue between his predictable hooks.

Obama Criticizes Burning Man for Lack of Diversity

In a rare press conference while on vacation in Hawaii, former President Obama raised concerns about the lack of diversity at Burning Man.

Breaking: GenX Still Doesn’t Give a Shit

We GenXers smirk a lot. Who has time for anything else? We're ancient. It's obvious, OK?

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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