Jon Reremy, PhD
When Jon was a little bitty baby his mama would rock him in the cradle in the old cotton fields where he's from. Growing up in the deep south, he learned to take a punch, a skill he carries with him to this day and looks to pass on to future generations of Reremies. After the tragic monster truck accident that claimed the life of his latest wife, all pending charges were dropped, leaving Jon to pursue his dream of marrying someone younger, hotter, and dirtier. As his hunt continues, Jon lurks around the local junior college, where he hopes to earn his doctorate by attending several classes a month, that he may one day stop lying about having one. When he's not studying or leching, Jon maintains an active television-viewing schedule. On the rare occasion inspiration strikes, he strikes back.
Avatar, released 14 years after the original, received distinction by grossing over $2 billion in theaters in 2009 and is widely considered the visually-superior execution of the same old story.
The Mexican government issued a statement this morning to its citizens traveling abroad in the United States, warning them to avoid drinking tap water.
The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at Sanders' upcoming rally before the next primary on Saturday, November 2nd in San Jose, and the Sanders campaign has enthusiastically accepted.
A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."
His holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, surprised audience members at this year's 7th Annual Ohio Spiritual Awakening Festival or OSAF when he mentioned that he used a fidget spinner to occasionally "relax and center himself after a hectic day."