November, 2021

Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo

Joy Rasmussen Aguinaldo has written for years about the convergence of key life events and cooking. She has written extensively about the eating habits of mouthy children and wayward spouses combining wit, sarcasm and occasionally anger into her cookbooks. Her New York Times Bestseller, Cooking When You're Angry, stayed in the top ten in not only the Food and Living category, but also the Self-Help one as well. She is currently working on her latest and untitled cookbook, from which some of the recipes will be featured in Gish Gallop. Look for it soon.
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Hooters to Celebrate Breast Cancer Survivors

In a nod to appear both sensitive and politically correct, Hooters has announced the opening of the first bar and restaurant to hire only breast cancer survivors who have had one breast removed.

Nearsighted Sheriff Mows Down Tomato Field with MRAP

To retaliate against election emboldened cannabis growers, Sheriff Keith Royal unleashed “Big Bertha”, the Nevada County Sheriff’s Department contracted helicopter, and sent her to the skies.

Gish Gallop Recipe: Placenta ala King

Here's a recipe my grandmother used to talk about all the time. She raised eight children during the Great Depression and never wasted a single morsel of food.

Sheriff Admits to Dealing Heroin at Correctional Facility

In an attempt to reduce his annual budget and increase revenue, Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal has admitted to dealing heroin to inmates at the county Wayne Brown Correctional Facility.

District Attorney Arrested for Distributing Child Porn to Newspaper

Nevada County District Attorney Newell naively told officers he had indeed provided images depicting children in compromising situations to a number of media representatives.
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Adobe to Retire Impact Meme Font

After months of deliberation following an extensive study from the Rundex Family Foundation, in a stunning announcement, Adobe Systems has decided to remove the Impact Font from all of its product offerings.

Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls

Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from New Delhi, India, is currently the Managers of Education Experience for local firm Video Axcell.

Rand Paul Under Fire For Accepting Stimulus Money

The usually anti-government Senator from Kentucky says there's nothing wrong with taking federal stimulus money.

Canada Considers Replacing Maple Leaf with Gravy Ladle

A group of Canadian nationalists are petitioning the government in Ottawa to replace the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with something more representative of the Great White North.

Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten

Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheetos® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray for over 3 hours, has not been fondled nor eaten leading Mr. Underwood confused about what's wrong with it.