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September, 2021

James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
125 POSTS

Smokey Bear Decides To Start Packing Heat For All Future School Appearances

Bert DeVos, a member of a billionaire family that has spent hundreds of millions of dollars donating to Republican candidates over the years, told senators that she believes some schools may need to allow guns on their campuses because they live in wooded, rural areas and may need to fend of a bear attack.

Classic Comedy ‘The Jerk’ To Be Remade As ‘The Asshole,’ Starring Donald Trump

Universal Pictures has decided to go forward with a plan to update the Jerk and center it around Trump, giving it a new title, "The Asshole."

Rush Limbaugh Confused Why He Hasn’t Evolved Into a Human Yet

Dr. Jane Goodall, famed anthropologist and gorilla expert, seemed to almost confirm that Limbaugh is indeed closer to primate than to human.

Alex Jones Loses Custody of Crisis Actors Kids

The trial involving custody of Alex Jones' children with his estranged wife took a turn for the embarrassing when, in an attempt to cast himself in a favorable light in the courts, he claimed that all of what he does on his show is an elaborate performance art piece.

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

Though he's a free man now, for several months George Zimmerman was in jail while he stood trial for killing Trayvon Martin. One of the men who spent time in the same cell as Zimmerman will auction what he calls a "prison dildo" the two shared.
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“Racists aren’t the real racists. You’re the real racist,” Says Area Racist

Merton Davies knows a racist when he sees one.

Eric Cartman Based On South Park Creator’s Pet Guinea Pig

According to a new tell-all book, the creator of the Comedy Central show South Park based the popular character Eric Cartman on his childhood guinea pig.

Most Americans Still OK with the 71,000 Afghans We Bombed to Death

Mr. Bufton doesn't think about the casualties in the Afghan theater. All he knows is that he's keeping America safe.

Low IQ Man Can’t Handle The Hectic Pace of California

A California man can't hack the challenges of living in the golden state anymore.

Anti-Chemtrailers Quietly Applaud Ivermectin-based Cloud Seeding Operations

According to a memo, the DoD started Operation Horse Paste Earlier this month with the goal of "controlling the massive spread of the COVID-19 Delta variant."