December, 2021

James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
125 POSTS

Smokey Bear Decides To Start Packing Heat For All Future School Appearances

Bert DeVos, a member of a billionaire family that has spent hundreds of millions of dollars donating to Republican candidates over the years, told senators that she believes some schools may need to allow guns on their campuses because they live in wooded, rural areas and may need to fend of a bear attack.

Classic Comedy ‘The Jerk’ To Be Remade As ‘The Asshole,’ Starring Donald Trump

Universal Pictures has decided to go forward with a plan to update the Jerk and center it around Trump, giving it a new title, "The Asshole."

Rush Limbaugh Confused Why He Hasn’t Evolved Into a Human Yet

Dr. Jane Goodall, famed anthropologist and gorilla expert, seemed to almost confirm that Limbaugh is indeed closer to primate than to human.

Alex Jones Loses Custody of Crisis Actors Kids

The trial involving custody of Alex Jones' children with his estranged wife took a turn for the embarrassing when, in an attempt to cast himself in a favorable light in the courts, he claimed that all of what he does on his show is an elaborate performance art piece.

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

Though he's a free man now, for several months George Zimmerman was in jail while he stood trial for killing Trayvon Martin. One of the men who spent time in the same cell as Zimmerman will auction what he calls a "prison dildo" the two shared.
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Christian “Terrorists” in Trouble for Illegal Chemtrailing

A group of Christian chemtrailers are in trouble with both civil and military aviation officials for using their aircraft to spread the "the divine Word of Christ."

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.

Biden Offers Laid Off Coal Workers Betamax VCRs

The President's critics say this is another example of him being out of touch with average Americans.

Why I Should Be The Next Supreme Court Justice

There is a lot of controversy going on in our government about the next Supreme Court justice and who should be allowed to choose them. I have a simple solution, choose me.

Dalai Lama Finds Time to Relax with a Fidget Spinner

His holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, surprised audience members at this year's 7th Annual Ohio Spiritual Awakening Festival or OSAF when he mentioned that he used a fidget spinner to occasionally "relax and center himself after a hectic day."