September, 2021

Jason Calberson


Area Woman Threatens Lawsuit after Messy Facial

Justin Yermouth, 22, thought he'd treat his fiance, Jennifer Taylia, 20, to a nice relaxing facial after she finished her shift at Thai Me Up Wednesday afternoon. But what had started out as a loving gesture turned into a hair-raising affair for the young bride to be.

Jared Kushner in Talks to Sell Steak in Real Estate Tech Firm

Jared Kushner, a senior level White House official and son-in-law of President Donald Trump, is in talks to follow in his father-in-law’s footsteps by selling steak in his real estate company, according to a report by Bon Appétit Magazine.

Deceased Dentist Loved Family, the Philharmonic and Wife Swapping

A Nevada City dentist known for his deep love of family and wife swapping died this week. Harold Ardon, 92, died Monday at his Nevada City home.

Area Man’s Spirit Animal Disemboweled by Trump Sons Eric & Donald Jr.

For area man, Al Homssi, 24, his spirit animal met a violent death via disembowelment at the hands of First Sons Eric and Donald Jr. following a disagreement over health care reform.

Area Man Still Prefers Video Store Porn

The video rental business in the U.S. has collapsed from more than 19,000 brick-and-mortar retail stores at its peak down to under 5,000, according to the Rundex Family Foundation (RFF). Yet surprisingly, Family Video has added stores in recent years, attracting loyal, fap happy customers like Wayne Kerr.


Increased Chemtrail Spraying Leading to Premature Guinea Pig Deaths

Increased aerosolized chemtrail spraying over Northern California has led to an increase in small pet deaths according to area veterinarians.

“Racists aren’t the real racists. You’re the real racist,” Says Area Racist

Merton Davies knows a racist when he sees one.

Eric Cartman Based On South Park Creator’s Pet Guinea Pig

According to a new tell-all book, the creator of the Comedy Central show South Park based the popular character Eric Cartman on his childhood guinea pig.

Most Americans Still OK with the 71,000 Afghans We Bombed to Death

Mr. Bufton doesn't think about the casualties in the Afghan theater. All he knows is that he's keeping America safe.

Low IQ Man Can’t Handle The Hectic Pace of California

A California man can't hack the challenges of living in the golden state anymore.