Jason Calberson

As the final ear-bleeding refrains of Paranoid came to a close at Birmingham’s Genting Arena, Christians around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief. After nearly a half century of turning America’s youth onto the occult, heavy drug use and sexual perversion, it finally signaled The End of Black Sabbath.

The Toyota Motor Corporation reportedly struck a 10-year sponsorship deal with the Islamic State (ISIS,ISIL), aligning themselves alongside the world's leading global terrorist organization.

A self-proclaimed group of "patriots" known as APART (Armed Patriots Against Radical Terrorists), took it upon themselves to hang their own banner on Lady Liberty reading 'GTFO' (acronym for Get the F*ck Out) early Wednesday morning.

Speaking at a press conference this afternoon at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) announced they have successfully cloned rock guitar legend, Angus Young.

The national #HeadOut campaign, funded and presented by Brownstar Insurance, made a stop at the Grass Valley Public Library this week to show both new and experienced drivers the dangers associated with road head.