May, 2022

Jason Calberson


Area Man Surrenders after Barricading Himself Inside Tiny Home

A man wanted on multiple warrants surrendered peacefully nearly eight hours after barricading himself inside his tiny home Friday.

Area Man Still Prefers Video Store Porn

The video rental business in the U.S. has collapsed from more than 19,000 brick-and-mortar retail stores at its peak down to under 5,000, according to the Rundex Family Foundation (RFF). Yet surprisingly, Family Video has added stores in recent years, attracting loyal, fap happy customers like Wayne Kerr.

Trump Won’t Rule Out Exorcism as Form of Extreme Vetting

Speaking via satellite Monday morning on Fox and Friends, President Donald Trump defended his executive order on immigration which halts refugee entry into the United States for 120 days, and barred all citizens of seven predominantly Muslim nations from entering the US for three months.

Ed Force One Cited for Unauthorized Chemtrail Emissions

British heavy metal legends Iron Maiden are being investigated for illegal chemtrail spraying with the use of their customized touring aircraft, the ex-Air France 747-400 jumbo jet known as Ed Force One.

Stone Mountain, GA Chosen for Immediate Syrian Refugee Relocation

Humanitarian workers will resettle the final wave of Syrian refugees in Stone Mountain as the remnants of the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.


Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.