May, 2022

Jason Calberson

52 POSTS

First Wave of Syrian Refugees Reach Menominee Michigan

Earlier this week, the first wave of Syrian refugees, approximately 2,000 of the expected 4,500, finally reached the Menominee Marina in downtown Menominee, MI. The remaining refugees are expected to land over the next few days, depending on the weather and conditions of Lake Michigan.

Area Man’s Spirit Animal Disemboweled by Trump Sons Eric & Donald Jr.

For area man, Al Homssi, 24, his spirit animal met a violent death via disembowelment at the hands of First Sons Eric and Donald Jr. following a disagreement over health care reform.

Record Store Day Violence Breaks Out Across America

Massive brawls broke out between vinyl enthusiasts and police at several independent record stores Saturday, leaving an embarrassing scar on the 10 year anniversary of ‘Record Store Day.'

Sean Hannity Invests in Trump Real Estate

Fox News host Sean Hannity has reportedly purchased over 2-inches of prime real estate owned by Donald Trump, snatching up a cozy, undeveloped property.

Milwaukee Police Officer Shoots; Hits Unarmed Black Teen from Way Downtown

For 13 seasons with the Milwaukee Police Department, Officer Klexter has personified hustle, consistency and excellence in all areas of police work - as a team player, a defender, and perhaps above all else, a clutch performer.
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Satire Publication Cancelled for Writing about Next School Shooting

This ends a long tradition of strong reporting from the Sierra City, CA-based news source.

Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Calls for Rand Paul to resign are growing.

Several Kids Dead After a Good Guy With a Gun Sleeps In

Wilburn Marvin accidentally overslept this morning, missing his chance to save hundreds of people from an active shooter situation.

Anti-Vaxxer Group Gets Polio on India Trip

A group of "anti-vax" Christian evangelicals became very ill after visiting one of the world's poorest places.

Pink Floyd Reunion Album to Feature Donald Trump Cover

In what has both fans and critics excited, members of the often estranged prgressive/psychedelic rock band Pink Floyd haved announced a reunion tour to support their surprise upcoming album called Tree.