A Wisconsin native has issued a desperate plea for nudes after being diagnosed with Nanocephalic Aesthetic Receptor Daguerreotype Syndrome (NARDS), an extremely rare disease that affects the brain.

Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.

Humanitarian workers will resettle the next wave of Syrian refugees in Kent, WA, as the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.

Donald Trump promised seniors on the campaign trail that something terrific would replace the popular Meals on Wheels program once repealed, and now we are finally finding out what this terrific program entails.

Humanitarian workers will resettle the final wave of Syrian refugees in Stone Mountain as the remnants of the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.

Johnson debuted his new Hoover vacuum jingle to mixed reviews over the weekend. “It fucking rocks,” said longtime AC/DC die-hard, Larry Burgess. “It sounds like he did took a time machine back to the early 80’s. Powerful stuff man!”

Humanitarian workers will resettle the next wave of Syrian refugees in Clearwater, Florida, as a holdover executive order from the Obama Administration struggles to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September 2017.

British heavy metal legends Iron Maiden are being investigated for illegal chemtrail spraying with the use of their customized touring aircraft, the ex-Air France 747-400 jumbo jet known as Ed Force One.